Hello, peasants! I hope your past few months have been as mediocre as plebes like you deserve. Somewhat recently, Farmer Fabby was chastising me for not writing a post in so long. She made the absurd claim that “the peasants are starving!" That's kind of a problematic thing to say to me because what does it really have to do with me writing posts? Though on the other hand, it's still a pretty problematic thing to say because Farmer Fabby, starving peasants is your problem, no

Hello, darling serfs! It's been a while since I last posted, 42 days, in fact - so long that Maggie had time to be twelve years old instead of eleven; that Lady had time to weigh thirty pounds instead of twenty; that Jester Jansley had time to be in one relationship instead of zero like me. In the words of Jester Jansley herself, my hiatus from posting means that I “ just don't care about" you peasants. Which is true, but that's not the point here. Anyway, now that I AM post

Good afternoon, plebes! Yes, it's only been five days since I wrote my last post, but what can I say? I'm just so punctual, so on top of...

Prospect peasants keep asking me about how joining Elsa Supremacy will interfere with their “natural rights," so I figured it's about...

Good evening, comrades! Although today may seem like your everyday August 15, it most certainly is not. Because guess what! Today is the...

Hello, comrades! First, I would like to introduce some improvements I've made to my website recently! Let's take a minute to appreciate...

Hello, hello, HELLO, loyal followers! It's been a long time, but luckily for your wisdom-deprived peasantly pea brains, I have a lot to...

Greetings, my loyal band of followers! As I pointed out in the title, today is a very special day! “Why is that so?" you may be asking....

Remember... April Fools is for fools, but April CROOLS is for communists! Hello, loyal followers! I hope you are having a lovely April 1!...

That's right, guys. You read that right. I have just come up with a new and updated holiday! “How did this come about?" you may be...

It has been a while since we last spoke -- or rather, since you last read my written word on the personal electronic device of your...

“Thanks keeping ?" you're probably thinking. “What in the world is that?" I understand your confusion, dear comrade. Not everyone can be...

Due to the recommendation of my dear comrade Tara, I am writing another post even though I just published one yesterday. This one is of a...

Well, well, well. As you all know, this Tuesday was a big day. After a grueling race between two undoubtedly terrible people, America has...

Recently I have been hearing complaints. “We want more Elsa Supremacy!" “It's been TWO MONTHS since you last posted something!" “Write...

At the beginning, Elsa Supremacy was met with near-perfect success. Anyone who heard about it was eager to join, and Tara's Elsa...

Salutations, New Victims, greetings, hello! As your tyrannical leader, I am delighted you have signed up to be my peasant. As a reminder,...